A Comic Dialogue

Place, Time & Ambience : Open restaurant on the ship’s upper deck. 11.00 pm, most guests have left. A peppy music is playing – more appropriate for the start of the evening than its conclusion…

People :
Captain Dick – Comic Perspective : ‘Having it both ways’
Dr Sally Jessop – Comic Perspective : ‘The kitten is the cutest of all’
DJ Ashley – Comic Perspective : ‘Give it as you get it’
Other stock characters in the restaurant.

Situation : Sally has had a drink too many. She is heartbroken as the handsome guest she was trying to date whole evening slipped away. Captain Dick is consoling her even as Ashley fancy his chances…

Dialogue : 374 Words

“But Kevin… wait sweetheart… well, I’m sorry.” By that time the young man had thrown his napkin on the table and had left in a huff. Tears welled up in Sally’s eyes.

You can’t really blame the make-up. It can, at best, knock off a few years from your face. But, here it was a question of decades and even an overzealous use of puff and ruse was of little effect. However, such are the misconceptions of vanity that Sally never saw it that way.

Ashley, who was at the counter to the right of Sally, caught it with a timely glance and smiled. He opened a drawer and silently slipped a pack of condoms in his pocket. It was time to make his move.

“Would you care for something, m’am… anything?” asked Ashley in a tone which might have been faintly suggestive.

Sally, almost on a cue, turned around, smiled, fluttered her false eyelashes thrice and said “two martinis dear… extra large and extra dry.” Ashley looks into Sally’s eyes with a smile and leaves to get the drinks.

“Oh my my. Sally darling… lovely. May I join you sweety?”

Ashley turned around while pouring the drinks and saw Captain Dick settling on the chair in front of Sally. “What timing, you fag” he mumbled.

He took out the condom packet and looked at it closely “expiry next week… no way,” he said to himself with resolve and walked towards the table to serve the drinks.

“What’s the matter, my dear… you’ve been drinking again”, asked the captain adjusting the neckline of his frilled shirt top and looking at the spoon surface for a mirror.

“Again…” Sally started wailing.

The Captain offered her the napkin which Sally took to wipe her nose rather loudly. He then took her hands in his and cooed, “don’t cry my dear… I’m here”.

Sally wailed even louder and dabbed her eyes with the napkin…

“But she is straight, sir” Ashley almost snapped at the Captain as he kept the drinks down. Then he turned around, looked at Sally and fainted.

One artificial eye lash had come off as she dabbed her eyes and had settled on her puffed upper lip much like an off-centered Charlie Chaplin moustache.